Getting a divorce: What to expect and how your solicitor can help.

Divorce, family law

People can carry the heavy burden of wanting to get a divorce for years before they feel ready to do anything about it. Often, even just walking into the solicitor’s office for the first time can be a highly emotional experience as the gravity of their decision hits home and becomes a reality. It can be overwhelming and confusing, and this is why we believe it is so important to be selective and to find the right solicitor to work with you.

At the Worcester Family Law Practice, we don’t believe that having a solicitor with the correct qualifications is necessarily enough. To successfully advise and represent you, we want to encourage a successful solicitor/client relationship that will help you achieve what you want to achieve in the best way and with the best outcome and it is their responsibility to guide you and to listen to you.

It’s about having a solicitor you feel comfortable talking to, someone you feel comfortable confiding in, and someone who will give you sound advice about your situation.

Dealing with divorce is like going through a process of bereavement.

The first couple of appointments can be quite tearful encounters, and the client isn’t always prepared for how emotional they will become.

It may surprise you to know that separating from your partner is similar to dealing with bereavement. Whether you’re the one who is filing for divorce, or you are the recipient of divorce papers from your partner, there is a fundamental sense of loss that you must begin to process and it can be extremely difficult to come to terms with. It is the start of an emotional journey.

For some, emotions can lie dormant for a long time before surfacing, consequently taking you by surprise even when you thought that you were coping. Furthermore, it is common that you and your partner will experience different emotions at different times during your divorce and it is important to take this into account when discussing the correspondence between you and your partner with your solicitor as everybody is different.

We are here to give you solid, professional and empathetic advice that will help lead you towards the fresh start that you deserve.

Act in haste, repent at leisure.

As long as you take time to consider your options, we will support your decisions. We encourage clients to fully communicate with us, their solicitor, about how they feel, as this is highly relevant to the decisions we help you make. A good solicitor will be able to judge what you need them to do next in order to sufficiently support you without telling you what to do. Only you can truly know the answer to that, but we can be a voice of reason throughout this process.

Sometimes you need a little help feeling confident with a decision that you need to make. Divorce can significantly affect your self-confidence and it is important that your solicitor is by your side to reassure you.

Your decisions will determine the trajectory of your new life following divorce so we would like you to trust us when we say that this is not something you should rush.

We want what’s best for you as our client.

We don’t believe in making decisions for you, or even pressurising you into making decisions that we think are best for you. This is bad practice and can have extremely harmful consequences. Our solicitors will always discuss things with you face-to-face, advising you on the next step in the proceedings, following up with written confirmation of what we discussed in order to give you time to think, process, and then help you make an informed decision that is your own. We do this because we understand that sometimes clients don’t absorb all of the information in the first instance. If it is the right decision, it will still feel like the right decision tomorrow, and the next day, so there is no need to act in haste, your have too much time ahead of you to regret, let’s avoid that where we can. Your instinctive decisions aren’t always the right ones, but we will proceed with your decisions when you are confident that you’re happy to move forward.

Don’t forget to pay attention to your health.

It is important that you take care of your health as you embark on the emotional rollercoaster that lies ahead. Eating well, exercising and having a good social support network are all important elements for coping as best you can with divorce.

There are days when you will feel like you’re on top of the world, but these days can be quickly followed by a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. This is a completely normal reaction and we want you to know that it is not only acceptable but also expected. Just make yourself aware and don’t give yourself a hard time for how you feel.

When you are carrying an emotional burden like divorce and any kind of family breakdown, your health is paramount in order for you to give yourself the best grounding for making important decisions and functioning in the way that you need to for you and your family.

We believe that it is the solicitor’s job to know what to look out for in regards to the emotional wellbeing of our clients and to act and advise accordingly.

At the Worcester Family Law Practice, we don’t want to be like other firms who guide you through the motions of divorce and just get the job done. We want to be a valuable asset to all of our clients going through hardship and use all elements of our experience to be a good influence on you at a time when you are at your most vulnerable.

While we are not counsellors, we are part of your professional support system and your emotional wellbeing is of the utmost importance to us in order to make sure you are making decisions that you won’t regret later on.

There is no algorithm for a perfect and pain-free divorce.

Unfortunately, there is no checklist or approved instruction manual for what you need to do to come out of divorce completely unscathed. The psychological hardship of going through a divorce effects people, and materialises, in many different ways.

That’s why it’s so important that you have a solicitor who is flexible and who understands that every client is unique and will require help from them in different ways. You are not a case number to us, you are a person who needs our help and we will do what we can to support you, even when that means recommending someone else who is more suited to giving you what you need.

Be kind to yourself and remember, it won’t always be this hard. You are taking important steps towards a life you believe will be better for you and your family. Don’t let the fear of the unknown hinder your decision to do what you feel is right for you. Come and talk to us.

For more information about what to expect and how to take care of yourself during divorce and separation, please visit the Resolution website as a recommended resource.

If you are contemplating divorce or have legal questions for our family solicitors, feel free to call our office in Worcester on 01905 730900 between 9am and 5pm, Monday – Friday to arrange a chat with either Susan or Marisa who will be more than happy to discuss how they can help you in your situation.